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10 Tips On How To Have a Healthy Relationship
We all desire a healthy, beautiful relationship, but do we all have one? Here are my top advice for having a strong, healthy relationship as a therapist with over a decade of experience dealing with couples. The secret to success is to be communicative and proactive.
1. Recreate the activities you did during your first year of dating.
We tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lethargic in our relationships as the months and years pass. We lose our tolerance, tenderness, thoughtfulness, understanding, and overall effort for our companion. Consider going back to your first year of dating and writing down everything you used to do for your partner. Start doing them all over again.
2. Request what you want.
We gradually come to believe that our spouse understands us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when this assumption is made? Expectations are formed, and then rapidly deflated. Unmet expectations might cause us to doubt the viability of our partnership and connection. Remember that “asking for what you want” includes everything from emotional to sexual desires.
3. Learn as much as you can about your mate.
Consider who your mate truly is and what physically and emotionally thrills them. We might become preoccupied with what we believe people desire rather than tuned in to what genuinely resonates with them. Keep in mind that if something is significant to your spouse, it does not have to make sense to you. You simply have to do it.
4: Make it a weekly habit to check in with each other.
It might be brief or long, but it always starts with asking each other what worked and what didn’t work the previous week and what can be done to better things this week. Use this chance to get on the same page with your schedules, arrange a date night, and speak about what you want to see happen in your relationship in the next days, weeks, and months. Unmet wants and resentments might accumulate if a temperature check is not made on purpose.
5: Maintain the sexiness.
What would happen in your relationship if you and your spouse both committed to boosting the behaviours you both find hot and minimising the ones you don’t? Consider this in its fullest sense. “Sexy” can obviously allude to sexual inclinations, but it also expresses what we find appealing about our partner.
6: Seek to understand rather than agree.
The concept is simple, but the implementation is complicated. Conversations rapidly devolve into disputes when we are involved in hearing our partner concede that we were correct or when we are determined to change their mind. Rather of waiting for your significant other to capitulate, treat a conversation as a chance to grasp their point of view. From this vantage point, we can have an intriguing conversation while avoiding an outburst or lasting frustration.
7: Make your apology meaningful.
It’s common knowledge that apologising is a good thing, but it only has genuine meaning when you mean it. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” “I’m sorry you see it that way,” and “I’m sorry if I offended you” are all wastes of time and breath. Even if you disagree that your behaviour was bad, you will never be able to convincingly refute a sentiment.
8: Inquire about anything other than “How was your day?”
After a long day, we have a tendency to mentally check out of our lives and, as a result, our relationships. “How was your day?” is a tried-and-true question. However, because we are asked that question so frequently, many of us will immediately respond with the bare minimum: “That’s OK. How did yours turn out?”
9: Every day, take a (mental) vacation.
Life and job distractions often take precedence in our minds, leaving little time or energy for our relationship.This implies that, unless there are any crises or deadlines, we are completely present while we are with our companion. We actually hear what they are saying (rather than pretending to), we leave our distractions at the door, and we don’t take them up again until the sun rises and we walk out.
10: Take “fight breaks” when necessary.
When disagreements arise, try to address them deliberately and with a great deal of love toward your spouse and yourself. If you see that the tension in a talk regarding a problem is rising, one or both of you should take a pause so that cooler heads can prevail. The tool’s main point.